Some great British stories this week. The Daily Mail, who always helpfully seem to confirm my carefully nourished prejudices about them, is again bashing the “elf and safety” culture because the wheelie bin men are not allowed to cross a minor suburban road with wheelie bins. In this case I have to agree with them of course, over feeding third class ambulance chasing lawyers is a luxury we can no longer afford.
On the bright side we have super hi-tech bins, ok not wheelie bins but litter bins, appearing in London with built in plasma screens giving news and travel info and presumable adverts. Also in the entrepreneurial vain, we have an inventor who converted his wheelie bin into a super-efficient composter. But best of all are the 10 year old wheelie bin entrepreneurs from the Isle of Wight who are going into competition with us producing wheelie bin numbers – all power to them.
In honour of the Rugby world cup we have a bunch links to wheelie bin stories from down under. The antipodean general craziness certainly gets adequately reflected in their news worthy wheelie bin antics.
We have a guy, who might have had a couple of beers, throwing his wife’s $50,000 of jewellery into their wheelie bin. She’d put them in bags to hide them from thieves. Hopefully more sober, but you can’t be too sure, someone put a wheelie bin on top of a huge communication mask in a fit of bonza revelry no doubt.
George has spoken and the debt fuelled party that Gordon encouraged for us all is going to be slowly tuned down over the coming years, poor Gordon he only wanted to be loved. So what’s all this got to do with wheelie bins you may well ask? Well it’s about the direction of travel maybe, Gordon’s munificence has resulted in NHS consultants getting paid twice as much for far less hours but it’s had little impact on the sink estates, where as we see this week the local lads threw bricks at the firemen trying to put out wheelie bin fires they had started.
Hopefully this change in direction will also tone down the petty rule based mentality that has pervaded the provision of public services from parks to recycling. We hear this week from the august Express (so it may or may not be true) that the bin men refused to empty a wheelie bin because two tea bags and six baked beans went astray. The extraordinary outcome was the council defended the wheelie bin men for making the right decision. Let’s see how Cameron’s big society impacts these kafkaesqe denizens.
Summer has bought more existential angst into the world of wheelie bins. The Economist, nicely using BritishBins as its title, concatenated Cameron’s big society concept with the ongoing war over wheelie bins between the “little Hitlers” in the councils and the “slightly” right of centre Daily Mail cohort. The Economist’s conclusion, as might be expected from this hallowed organ, was to use the financial carrots of the capitalist genre rather than the Stalinist sticks preferred by Mr Brown and his cronies. So you get a Marks and Spencer’s voucher if you recycle nicely and put everything in the right wheelie bin. However, as M&S don’t sell deep fried Mars Bars, this may not be the greatest encouragement to the denizens of the sink estates.
Of course, being British, what has caused a much greater furore, is the video of a respectable middle aged lady dumping her neighbour’s kitty into a wheelie bin. This is a crime clearly more heinous than that of lighting up a wheelie bin next to a house full of kids which, as we know, is also a popular pastime in the places that Cameron’s big society is going to find hardest to reach.
It wasn’t so long ago that we commented on inebriated boy racers (apparently happily) terminating themselves racing wheelie bins down the local village incline. Now it seems to be turning into an international sport with wheelie bin races reported from Germany and Kent this just this week. The Germans, being Germans are taking it all very seriously, with illegal go-faster tweaks. I hope these guys wear crash helmets.
Wheelie bins, as ever prosaic objects, also feature in the world of crime again this week. One brave lady fought off her knife wielding attacker with her wheelie bin. Another felon’s luck ran out in a more gruesome way. He hid in a wheelie bin in a jail break and got squished in a compactor; a relatively common event, even excusable for alcoholics, but not the smartest move if you’re sober.
I’m into modern art, so I’m going to bang on about it a bit, after reading about Michael Landy’s Art Bin. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen the picture of him posing in his Wheelie Bin. You might have heard of Landy before, he’s the guy who shredded his whole life a couple of years ago in a shop window. I mean literally everything he owned, photos, clothes, passport, tax records - in the shredder. His point I think was quite clear, even if some of the people that gave him stuff weren’t too impressed.
Now his latest idea with his wheelie bin is to sow some seeds of confusion in the self aggrandising contemporary art world by getting big name artists like Emin and Hurst to throw big money pieces into his wheelie bin to be destroyed. I like it the concept. It passes my personal “is it art” test, although I imagine the Daily Mail might be bemused.
Also passing the “is it art” are the lads from Hemel who borrowed everyone’s wheelie bins and placed them very artistically in the middle of a local roundabout.
As to other wheelie bin world view stories, the election campaign is getting going, more of that at a later date. Much more interesting is the man who got so disgruntled with way the Brisbane suburban Bowen Hills brothel treated him that he threw a wheelie bin through the window of the brothel – love those Aussies.
And now we see the Home Office spending untold resources trying to cover their own incompetence and threatening the elected member of parliament, Damian Green, with life imprisonment. It makes you wonder who's serving who.
The reason we're pondering this question is that our friends from Lancashire Council are spending £60,000 per year on wheelie bin police. So tell me again, who is that bureaucracies are supposed to serve?
What to say about those Dragons? As successful self made entrepreneurs, you have to admire the skilful way they've ridden their luck to get where they are. I'm not quite so enamoured by their participation in the current egomaniacal celebrity culture, but each to their own.
So, what has this all got to do with wheelie bins? Well, Peter Jones showed his risk taking daring-do when he invested fifty grand in a pensioner's patented wheelie bin 'Lid Lifter'. Let's hope, for Mr Jones' sake that Joe Public has got his gullibility. Don't get me wrong, I love potty inventions, but the first USP of this one is it opens the wheelie bin lid for you when you have a garbage bag in each hand. Does anyone ever take two garbage bags to the wheelie bin?
The second USP I guess is that it saves you time. Like how many thousand times would you have to open a wheelie bin to equal the time it takes to unstring and restring this gadget each time to bin men come? Good luck Mr. Jones.
There’s a saying that when politicians start to see the light at the end of the tunnel they order more tunnel. The financial drama in Europe and the USA this week seems to confirm the point. Back in the lowly world wheelie bins we have Bedford council picking thousand pound fight with anyone who leaves their wheelie bin on the street. Then we have residents in Manchester, whose wheelie bins have been removed by that august council in favour of communal bins, who are demanding their return.
Fortunately as much as the bureaucrats and politicians play their seemingly unavoidable societal games, we have great examples of fanatical entrepreneurs using wheelie bins to make their fortune. The fact that they are both eccentrics, in the great British tradition, is irrelevant.
By the way it’s not just egomania that generates these little wheelie bin missives, although it helps. It appears that having changing written content on our front page assists our search engine position, keeping our volumes up and thus our wheelie bin prices down.
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